Gamecrap: Plumbers Don't Wear Ties!

Suffered through by Toilet Duck.

"...And they don't make good games either!"

**PDWT deep gameplay consists of choosing one of three "action squares" and then sitting back and witnessing your ears commit suicide.**

I'm thoroughly convinced that Kirin Entertainment consist of disgruntled asian plumbers. I don't what the hell they were pissed off about, but they decided to unleash Plumber's Don't wear ties. One of the first of many laughably pathetic "3do adult games". The system was trying to run with this gimmick that the console "ain't just for kids." It was on the edge baby! So why not prove it with a game about a plumber trying to get laid!

**"God knows what you'll do with that hot little mouse of yours!"(2.30mb,avi)**

"What the hell is this!?"
Plumber's Don't wear ties is supposed to be an "adult 3do game"(ha!) about a moronic plumber name John that spends his free time playing the electric guitar with a plunger and a silicone blonde named Jane that can't get a date. The common myth about PDWT is that it's an fmv porno game. It's not even close to one. Besides the enticing beginning with miss silicone(which is the ONLY fmv sequence), the entire game is a freakin' picture story with voiceovers! Yes, as in Sesame Street picture story. All you simply do is pick one of three "action squares!" of what you want John to do(revolutionary gameplay!), then try not reach for any sharp objects during the insanely terrible voiceovers! In fact, The whole thing looks like it was shot in a sears parking lot with a budget of $12 dollars and a box of lucky charms. Not even the good Lucky Charms, the fake imitation kind!

**"Keep in mind, this is the least sucky moment in the entire game."(924kb,avi)**

The pictures just scream photoshop molestation, with a criminal amount of flare and crappy filter effects. It's as if some stooge just figured out how to rape the negative filter in adobe. It's like an ecstasy simulator. The voiceovers, just sound retarded. I couldn't think of any way better way to put it. Now i'm not expecting anything halfway sober with a game called PDWT, but it's like they want to scream out "I would be making more money at an old folks home chiseling crust out of old peoples asses but they didn't have an opening so that's why I'm doing this!"

Umm, why am I watching a man take a shower?

Like I mentioned at the beginning, the common myth about PDWT is that its some type of softcore jerkoff parade. Calling it that would be an insult to jerkoff parade! The only nudity you get is a few peeks of Jane's right buttcheek and a VERY, VERY disturbing amount of pictures that focus on John's pasty white ass and pubes! Yes, PUBES! It's gets unsettling to the point that wonder if accidentally picked up "Manhole's interactive picture escapades 94'". Sadly, that would probably have been more fun.

Hmm, I wonder why you can't get laid. Wait, I know...BECAUSE YOU PLAY THE ELECTRIC GUITAR SHIRTLESS WITH A FUCKING PLUNGER!

Did PDWT murder the 3do!?
I'm actually surprised it didn't! I mean, c'mon! they actually thought shoving in gay man pictures would hide the fact that the game is an abortion! and why do I keep calling it a game!? It's not, it's more a monkey punishment program that's loaded up when one misbehaves at the lab. I can only imagine the awkward conversations that took place in many basements when this was released.

Gamer d00d 1:"Dude! I just got Super Metroid and this game freakin' rocks!"

Gamer d00d 2:"HAHAHA, you're such a pansy! Super Metroid is bogus dude! I got this awesome game called Plumber's Don't Wear Ties, and it ROCKS ASS so hard, literally! They actually show a man's ass and pubic hair!!!"

Gamer d00d 1:" Dude, why are playing a game about naked plumbers!?"

Gamer d00d 2:".........."

**Things I learned from Plumbers don't wear Ties!:**
4. Asian Plumbers actually exist, and they make videogames.
3.A box of lucky charms is a substantial budget to make a 3do game.
2. Laws should be passed to prosecute people who rape photoshop.
1. Pictures of nude men taking showers and pumping iron is a good way to hide gameplay flaws.

Beat 'em & Eat 'em: I couldn't think of anything in the league of suck that is PDWT. So why not some hardcore nudity!

Night Trap: The best bad videogame ever!