Gamecrap: Action 52!
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My god. Seriously, it's hard for me to put into words the magnitude of badness action 52 is. This is probably the worst Nintendo game ever concieved. "But you haven't played all the nintendo games yet! How could you make such a declaration!" When you make 52 games, all UNBEARBALE, ALL ON THE SAME CATRIDGE, you've done what no gamecrap has ever done before!
"Anti-American Videogames!" According to active enterprises, a company rumored to be consisting of 2 men based in one their parents basements in Florida, we were being charged too much for videogames by anti American game companies. I've always had a feeling that Nintendo was secretly ran by Al-queda. Torchering us yanks with games like Donkey Kong Math, Ghostbusters, and Deadly Towers. Anyways, to reduce are reliance on those evil anti-American videogames, they came up with the most patriotic idea: Why not cram 52 of the most god awful games into one special cartridge and sell it for 200 bucks! USA! USA! USA!
Attack of the Burger King Hashbrowns of DOOM!! Hey kids! Wanna play a game where you have virtually no defense against platoons of charging tetris blocks and Burger King hashbrowns while on the moon? How bout some cocaine then?
"Hey Fred, look at the village idiot in his ship again..." An unknown city is being pounded by raining fireballs, and you must stop them by shooting at them. Okay, what's the point of wasting time shooting the fireballs if NOTHING HAPPENS TO THE CITY!? The city is obviously technically advance to the point that they have invented fireball proof structures. If any damage did occur, they probably have some type of fireball insurance. Meanwhile, all the sane citizens are inside their fireball proof houses watching this fool thinking "What the hell is this dumbass doing!?"
Now this game freakin' rocks! Cause it doesn't bother to freakin' load! Me thinks they couldn't think of anything stupid to come up with, or they didn't want to work on an empty crack pipe. So why not just leave it blank?
Operation No hit detection! You play as a land rover that explodes from driving next to blocks. On the moon.
The highly anticipated winnie the pooh tomato deathmatch game! Aimlessly roam around chucking tomatoes at unsuspecting platypuses. Trust me, it gets worst.
Yet another unbearable space shooter! You would think by the number 6000 that even the designers would get sick of these! It's basically star evil without the giant cinderblock greeting you at the start.
Prostitute Cave Adventures! A platformer involving a heat-packing red headed vixen whose enemies include a giant glob of man juice.
Battle of the Hunchback Killer Eskimos! Somewhere in Alaska, legions of Hunchback killer Eskimos fight in a tournament called "Chill out!", were the objective is to kill each other with snowballs. Be careful though, Hunchback killer Ekismos can't fall in between 2 solid objects or they will die!
Yes! Finally! A game about shooting lasers at sharks!! Like most people, I've always wanted to shoot lasers at sharks. We'll, we've got the next great thing: A game that lets us waste countless hours in stale sea killing sharks with lasers. They didn't even bother giving the guy a death animation! He just turns into a salad of pixels when touched.
Bland space shooter #2134! Why do the designers have this fetish for awful space games? Almost all the games we've endured have had something to do with space or the moon. It's like the thought of shitty games in space turns them on or something.
What type of Kitchen is this!? Any restaurant that has life size hotdogs and donuts running amuck AND requires the chef to climb ladders to cook, is probably not a good place to eat. The game also sucks too.
WOOHOO, ANOTHER FREAKING SPACE SHOOTER!! T lets you blow up out of control Star Destroyers! When the going gets tuff, start taking jabs at movies!
Designer #1: Hey Nerdworth, I think we are adding in too many space shooters. I mean, theirs only so many variations we can do before they notice. Designer #2: How bout' this, we replace the spaceships with Teddy bears, bottles, and diapers pins! We will call it "Space Dreams"! Designer #1: Doesn't that defeat the whole purpose of NOT creating another space game? Designer #2: No bonehead! We are just replacing the spaceships from Atoms Quake with baby related items and calling it Space Dreams! Geez, and you wondered why they promoted me to lead chimp instead of you.
The only clown that's allergic to GIANT BAGS OF MONEY! A great kids game about a brave clown that can't jump and dies from touching garbage bags full of money. This teaches kids that money is evil.
Girls just wanna have mental suffering!? Action 52 doesn't discriminate, it provides equal eye gougingly bad game experience for both sexes and all races. Like Bubble Gum Rosy, the illegimitate daughter of barbie that uses the legendary OOZE engine, which means virtually no controls, turtle pace movements, and random crashing. C'mon girls, join the fun!
Crooked penis speed racer! Yet another unplayable game where you take the role of a severed johnson that moves at the speed of light, making it humanly impossible to avoid any of the hideously drawn walls.
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